(Written on Saturday April 10, 2004)

The two months before I came to Mysore (Spent traveling around Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and Bali) flew by, and I was interested to see whether spending a whole month in one place would cause time to slink by a little more slowly. Apparently it doesn't. My time here in Mysore is quickly becoming a blur of surya namaskars and the deep ujayi breathing that is the soundtrack of my daily practice.

On the yoga front, things are going well. On Wednesday I was given bhujapidasana, kurmasana and supta kurmasana, and yesterday Sharath told me, "More next week." Whatever, I'm happy to be where I am and if I didn't progress any further that would be fine, but moving on the garba pindasana would also be lovely. I do miss backbending, but I'm not quite sure how my back feels about the prospect of Mysore-style (i.e. brutal) backbending! Yesterday my practice was weak, mostly because I was weak and tired after only 7 hours of sleep (I'm neurotic about getting 9 hours of sleep) after last night's potluck at Meg's and my place. I'm happy to have today and tomorrow off (normally, Sharath's students have Sunday off instead of Saturday, but he switched it this week and gave us Saturday off instead, but I already had a Thai massage booked for Sunday morning that couldn't be cancelled), as is my right knee, which got strained yesterday on the second side of mari D. Sharath pushed down on my knee and it went, "Snap, crackle, pop." I think that it's generally a bad sign when your knee starts imitating breakfast cereal.

Otherwise, things here in Mysore are just swell. The sunsets I see from my terrace are sublime and I continue to be infatuated with India. Cows wandering up and down my street, stopping occasionally at the garbage receptacle for breakfast or a midnight snack, carrot halvah's buttery sweetness lingering on my tongue and the jingle of glass bangles. It's all so sweet. Take it all in, absorb it, go to bed with coconut oil in my hair, dream of Bollywood films.

I've been really tired the past couple days after practice, so I've been taking naps after yoga and just being a typical Cancer: hanging around my apartment and enjoying the comfort and stability of living in one place for a whole month, with my own bedroom and bathroom! I'm so perfectly content right now to be at home with myself, a book and a cup of chamomile tea. Perfection.

Today I began volunteering at a local orphanange. It's home to fifty children, ranging in age from one month to early twenties. I arrived and was immediately greeted with a chorus of hellos, and children asking me, "What is your sweet name?" One girl in her early twenties immediately grabbed me by the hand and wouldn't let go. She led me from room to room, introducing me to the Aunties (the older women who are the caregivers) and showing me the nursery. I began by working with the babies: holding them, feeding them, providing them with human contact and mothering that they need, since they've all been abandoned. I love babies, I have this whole maternal thing going on, it was wonderful. The girl who was holding my hand asked, "Are you a mother?" I told her I wasn't and that I'm only 21. This didn't compute for her, there are many mothers here who are only 21. I followed up with, "And I'm not married," and her face lit up with instant understanding, as in India the thought of being an unwed mother is entirely foreign. We ate lunch with the children: idlis and dahl on the concrete floor. Occasionally one of the Aunties would pass by and pat me on the back or grab my face in the same fashion that your great-Aunt Ida might...There is such camaraderie within the female community in India (as well as in the male community). There is so little contact between sexes that very strong communities are forged among the same gender. After lunch Meg and I helped a little boy with Cerebral Palsy do his exercises. His smile is dazzling and he loves clapping.

The director of the orphanange is originally from Maine (she's been living in India for 25 years), and she explained to me that she's generally had bad experiences with yogis, as they can't seem to keep commitments. In her words, "These kids have already been abandoned once and they don't need to be adandoned again by you." Exactly.

I think that far too often people turn volunteer work into something about/for themselves, as though they're doing it as part of some self-growth regime. While it surely will change you, that shouldn't be your motivation. In some ways, Mysore resembles summer camp or Club Med: purely pleasurable and there solely for your personal enjoyment. India is constantly dropping huge hints in your face to reach out and give back: it's not all about you! Many yogis come here and give a great deal back to the community in many ways, but there are some who seem so absorbed in themselves, in their practice, in their "spiritual growth" that they are blind to the culture and the country that surrounds them. Growth will come with experience and perspective, and surely it is difficult to gain this perspective if your feet are always dangling in the pool and your mind is in the clouds.

I can't believe it's already Easter. In my mind, time's been frozen at home since I left in January, but the reality is that crocuses and snowdrops are poking their heads through the earth. Time passes so quickly, and with it you grow.

Happy Easter, Passover and Spingtime to all!
- posted by Andrea @ 2:44 a.m.